Don't Know If I Can Do This
by AnnikaMalfoy
Summary: A midnight chat helps Adrian see he can take care of his daughter, even without his Sage.


**A/N: This is a fic that I wrote for Daisy Masterman's Facebook Page Competition. It is actually a sort of prequel to another Bloodlines fic that I am working on. I wanted to put this up to see what you guys thought. The other fic should be up sometime in the near future. Hope you like it. **

Adrian Ivashkov stared down at the tiny blonde infant, who looked a little more like her mother every day, sleeping peacefully in her crib. His love for her was the only thing keeping sadness and fear from consuming him. Yet, he had no idea what to do, or where to go from there.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" A voice startled him, and he whipped his head around. His heart stopped as his eyes fell on the woman standing in the doorway. It was impossible, but there she was standing there in the same white t-shirt and blue jeans she had worn on their last day together. Her hair fell around her face in the way he so loved it.

"Sage?" He asked in disbelief. "Is that really you, or am I dreaming?"

"A little of both I think." She answered with a small smile. "I felt your need to see me again, and I was suddenly in the doorway." She stepped inside and walked over to the crib to join him in admiring the baby. "I think it is some odd effect of spirit."

He nodded but continued to stare at her. He had been wishing and hoping for a chance to see her again since the horrible night two months ago. What made tonight so special?

"So tell me what's wrong?" She laid a solid, gentle hand on his shoulder. How was this even possible? "Aside from the obvious, of course."

"I don't think I can do this, Sage. Not without you." He told her exactly what he had been thinking before she appeared.

"Of course you can, Adrian. You took care of Jill when she needed you, and you took care of me when I needed you."

He snorted and stepped away from the crib.

"Jill was a teenager who was like a sister to me, not _my _baby. And I didn't take care of you, Sydney, I failed you."

Sydney's jaw dropped as pain lacerated her heart. How could he believe that he failed her?

"No, Adrian, you didn't fail me." She said taking his hand in hers. "I knew the consequences of my decision. I knew the Alchemist laws about having any kind of romantic relationship with a vampire and bearing a dhampir child, but I did it anyway."

"But I should've been able to protect you from them. I should've been able to bring you back." His eyes filled with tears and he choked back the sob that wanted to escape. He would stay strong during this conversation.

"Oh Adrian." Sydney shook her head. "I knew what I was doing when I married you and gave you a daughter, and I knew we couldn't run forever. I didn't care though, because I love you and I wanted to give you those things."

"But if I had gone with you…"

"No." she firmly cut him off. "You were where I wanted you to be, protecting who I wanted you to protect. End of story."

Adrian sighed but didn't try to argue. He knew once Sydney, dead or alive, got into one of these moods, she was impossible to argue with. He sank into the rocking chair and put his head into his hands.

"This would be so much easier if you were still here, Sage." He said in barely above a whisper.

"I know, but I'm not, and you are the only thing she" Sydney looked back at her daughter in the crib "Has in this life. You need to move forward and keep protecting her, because I have no doubt the Alchemists will stop with me. Don't let them get their hands on her."

"Don't worry." He replied placing his hands on top of hers. "Lissa has already order death on any Alchemist who brings harm to this child. And even without her threat, there is a line a mile long if people who would kill to protect her, and I'm first in that line."

"Good." Sydney slid unto Adrian's lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Now, I need you to promise me something."

"Anything." Adrian whispered nuzzling her hair.

"Promise that no matter what happens, you will stay strong for her and for me. Promise me that when spirit gets too much you will remember her and how much she means to you. I can't be your rock anymore, so promise me that our daughter will be from now on."

"I can't do that, Sydney." He shook his head. "I will always stay strong for our little girl. I will love and protect her and be everything she needs me to be, but _you _will always be my rock. My love for you is what will always keep me going."

She smiled slightly at his answer then looked to the door.

"What's wrong?" Adrian asked.

"I have to go but remember, just because I can't be here with you, doesn't mean I won't always be with you. I'll always be watching. I love you, Adrian Ivashkov."

She leaned forward to kiss him but was gone long before their lips met.

"Not as much as I love you, Sage." He sighed as a single tear rolled down his cheek. "Not as much as I love you."


End file.
